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14 January 2009 @ 12:27 am
My name is Brianna Eckenrode
I'll soon be 17 years old.
I haven't cut for over 2 years.

Literally months after I was born my family got a puppy..
this puppy grew up with me and he was my best friend..
there are so many pictures around the house of me and him..
but he died when I was 5 years old..

Today when I came home from school my parents told me that my dogs ran away..
so for hours me and my dad were driving around looking for my dogs..
and I happened to say something about my [earlier mentioned] dog dying
and since he only lived to be 5 years old and so did the dog I got after that..
I kinda figured, some types of dogs just don't like that long..
and we're had the one dog for about 3 years.. and we got him from someone who had him for a couple years..
and so I figured maybe he's just ready to die.. and you know.. some animals go away from home to die..
and I had said that to my dad.. and he looked at me weird and I mentioned that my first dog had only lived for 5 years..

and he told me that my neighbors poisoned my dog..
I was 5 years old..
I grew up with that dog..
he was my best friend..
what ind of sick person does that?

i remember my dog laying on the kitchen floor
on my baby blanket puking and I remember trying to feed him
and I remember trying to cover him up
and worst of all I remember watching him die..
and now to know that someone did that on purpose..
I'm seriously so upset about this..
me and that dog were best friends.

I just wanted to get that off my chest because
I've had way too much stress today..
and I just needed somewhere to vent so that
I didn't do something stupid.
16 February 2008 @ 11:27 pm
 So call me stupid or ignorant or whatever, but I never totally noticed the misunderstanding of self-mutilation before I became familiar with To Write Love on Her Arms.

I was watching a video on youtube of Jamie speaking about TWLOHA, and there were SO many comments that said things like, "HA cutters are so fucking funny...you are all such losers!! Go cut yourselves..." 

Or, in one comment, a girl revealed that her friend had killed herself. So someone else replied saying something like, "HAHAHA she probably killed herself because of you!! I would've done the same thing!! Why don't you just go kill yourself...I'd probably laugh my ass off if I found out you did!"

...can I ask how you all deal with things like this? I never realized before how misunderstood this issue is. And while it only makes me want to fight harder, it's so difficult to hear these things. While I haven't hurt myself in two years, some of these comments (as sad as this sounds) make me want to hurt myself all over again.

Do any of you have any ways to cope with this that you can offer?
Current Mood: sadShocked and hurt
Current Music: Take Me Away + Lifehouse
15 February 2008 @ 03:57 pm

I have a question about the street team. I tried to join on Wednesday but still haven't heard back. Has anyone successfully joined the street team yet and if so, how long did it take you to hear from them?

Thank you!
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Tidal Waves + Matt Duke
13 February 2008 @ 10:22 pm
I found this community when searching for people interested in TWLOHA. I discovered the charity a few days ago when looking at the band Paramore's website. I have not been able to get the concept of TWLOHA out of my head since. I kept thinking that I wished there had been something like that to help me a couple of years ago. I kept wishing there was something I could do. As I was browsing this community, I saw that someone had mentioned that the members of this community should write letters to each other. That's when it hit me. I'd been racking my brains, trying to figure out something I could do that wouldn't require much time (I'm a full time college student with three part-time jobs) but that would help others who are going through the same thing I went through and still struggle with. I decided to start up Letters of Love.

I am more than willing to write you letters. Anyone who is in need of a friend, in need of an ear, or just wants to hear about mundane things like cats and getting soaked in the rain, anyone who wants to have something to look forward to, is more than welcome to receive letters from me. And it works both ways. I started the Lj community, towriteletters for whomever is interested to join. We can become pen pals and give each other something to look forward to. It takes just five minutes to write a letter, another five to address the envelope and stick a stamp on it, and just a few moments to stick it in the mail. Imagine the smile on someone's face when they receive your letter, or the smile on your own face when you receive a letter of your own.

Add me here on Lj. I also have an Insanejournal of the same username, and I can be found on MySpace at myspace.com/delirious19th. I will be building a website for Letters of Love, and will create a MySpace soon after. In the meantime, let's use towriteletters to send each other Letters of Love.

Read more...Collapse )

I am looking forward to getting to know you guys.
Current Mood: accomplished
09 February 2008 @ 06:52 pm
hope this is okay...but yea, i'm...
selling a twloha shirt on ebay.com
Item number: 290205408817
i am shipping worldwide, as well...
bid starting at 9.99.
you'll get it faster from me than you would from the actual site...
11 November 2007 @ 11:37 am
I was on the computer all day yesterday, and in that time I made a few banners for different causes. I figure that I should post my TWLOHA banner for any of you who might like to use it. If you do use it and would like to credit me, that'd be great, but not necessary.

<3 Brinna

HTML: <a href=" http://www.twloha.com/" target="0"><img src="http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/serenadingsirens/banners/TWLOHAbanner3.gif" border="0"></a>
20 May 2007 @ 07:15 pm
I'm so glad to see how many members have joined. Hopefully, this community can become a place of healing for all of us. Please, feel free to post always.
I do want to make sure that everyone is aware:
This is not a place to put on a mask & talk about how well you're doing when you really aren't. If you aren't doing well, if you slipped up, it's ABSOLUTELY fine to be upset and ask for help. That's what this is for.

Currently, it's been almost a month since my last cut. not very impressive of a time span, I know.
but, it's something and I'm rather proud of it.
Since my most recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, I've struggled with feeling unable to escape my self-injury, like it's a part of me. I know it isn't, but I do feel like it is.
For those of you who don't know- I have depression, and PTSD as well.
Art is becoming my only outlet. 
My God and my boyfriend have helped quite a bit, though. 
They love me, though I may never fully understand how to love myself.

I would love to become lj friends with any of you, if you're interested.
I'm excited to see us all grow stronger.

I have a few ideas for the community. like pen-pals(snail-mail because I love snail mail)?
 art therapy assignments? I would love for us to do that. I would post a topic relating to our SI-ing and everyone could do a piece of art or poetry on the subject.
a recovery music mix? 

let me know what you think. thanks.
with love
25 March 2007 @ 09:06 am
Those who deal with cutting know that it's very important to have good coping mechanisms.
I want everyone to comment with theirs, so we have a source book of things to use whenever someone feels triggered.

I'll start:
1) I browse around on the internet, watching episodes of shows that I like
2)Get hugs from someone.
3)Pray or read the Bible
4) (this works really well for bad memories) hug a pillow and calm yourself down- everything's going to be okay. Breathe slowly and get calm.

Any others? Those are only the ones that have worked for me. I'm hoping that yo uall will comment and add more!
20 January 2007 @ 08:10 pm

It is estimated that 15% or roughly 17 million Americans suffer from depression.

It affects rich and poor, young and old, black and white.

2/3 are never treated.

They do not recognize the illness, and see it as a weakness or personality flaw.

Untreated depression is the most common cause of suicide.

In Australia, New Zealand and Japan, there are more suicides than murders.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people.

Depression is treatable.

Cutting was very much a mystery until 1996 when Princess Diana admitted that she had struggled with it.

Self Injurers use physical pain as an attempt to calm or numb the psychological pain or stress. They injure the outside in an attempt to release the pain on the inside.

Self Injury is an attempt to stop the hurting, an attempt to be clean.

Self injurers and addicts seek the familiar, even if its pain. This is completely foreign to most people.

Self injurers believe pain is their only option, using greater external pain as a relief from the pain inside.

There is hope.