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13 February 2008 @ 10:22 pm
Letters of Love  
I found this community when searching for people interested in TWLOHA. I discovered the charity a few days ago when looking at the band Paramore's website. I have not been able to get the concept of TWLOHA out of my head since. I kept thinking that I wished there had been something like that to help me a couple of years ago. I kept wishing there was something I could do. As I was browsing this community, I saw that someone had mentioned that the members of this community should write letters to each other. That's when it hit me. I'd been racking my brains, trying to figure out something I could do that wouldn't require much time (I'm a full time college student with three part-time jobs) but that would help others who are going through the same thing I went through and still struggle with. I decided to start up Letters of Love.

I am more than willing to write you letters. Anyone who is in need of a friend, in need of an ear, or just wants to hear about mundane things like cats and getting soaked in the rain, anyone who wants to have something to look forward to, is more than welcome to receive letters from me. And it works both ways. I started the Lj community, towriteletters for whomever is interested to join. We can become pen pals and give each other something to look forward to. It takes just five minutes to write a letter, another five to address the envelope and stick a stamp on it, and just a few moments to stick it in the mail. Imagine the smile on someone's face when they receive your letter, or the smile on your own face when you receive a letter of your own.

Add me here on Lj. I also have an Insanejournal of the same username, and I can be found on MySpace at myspace.com/delirious19th. I will be building a website for Letters of Love, and will create a MySpace soon after. In the meantime, let's use towriteletters to send each other Letters of Love.

I'm only 19 years old, but I feel like I'm a thousand. You know those days where you just want to cut, even though you haven't done so in a year? You know those days where you just feel like crying for no reason? I remember feeling so alone, as if I had no one to talk to. I met a wonderful lady at my school, the school social worker Ms. Amenta. She was an ear to spill everything to. She never judged me, even though my parents and boyfriend didn't understand me, or why I was doing what I was doing to myself. My best friend, and still best friend to this day, was the only person who truly understood. Everyone looked at me as if I was a freak. I always heard people whispering about me, the crazy girl with terrible cuts on her arms. I couldn't stop feeling so terrible. I'm still not even sure how it stopped; I took Zoloft for a while but hated it, so I ended up taking myself off of it and refused to try anything else. Still, to this day, I feel squicky when thinking about talking to my mom about this, even though I love her so much and I know she loves me. We are close and yet there is still this gap between us.

I still struggle some days. I'm a recovering cutter, anorexic and depressive. I smoked pot daily to numb myself, and sometimes took pills that weren't prescribed to me just so I could fele better. I look back at that old me now and even though I'm not proud of her, without her I would not be who I am today.

Wow. Tangent. I'm going to have to lj-cut this. I wanted to be as sincere as possible when coming to you guys with this idea, especially since I'm new here and don't want to seem like I'm treading on everyone's turf. I am just so excited that I finally found a way to do something. I feel like life has a purpose other than working constantly and hardly sleeping. (I so look forward to the weekends!)

But anyway, I'm going to shut up now and see what you guys think. I tend to get very verbose, especially when I'm excited. Let's see what we can do with this! Let's write Letters of Love to each other and help each other through.

I am looking forward to getting to know you guys.
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